


Paper Hearts

by sunshinekittyy



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Crushes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kippen Twins, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious dorks basically, Pining, Poems, Romance, Slow Burn, also tj doesn’t know he’s gay hehehe, slight homophobia, they’re all juniors in high school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinekittyy/pseuds/sunshinekittyy
Summary: TJ Kippen had never been one for expressing his feelings. When his English teacher asks him to write a poem about something he loves, he’s immediately filled with panic. However, he strangely finds the inspiration when he sees himself constantly thinking about a certain brown haired boy. Maybe writing about his emotions will make him realize how he truly feels about his best friend.





	Paper Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> i finally got myself to write and publish this! an idea i’ve had at the back of my mind for months njshsgsgs and here it is! my first ever tyrus fic too hehe. it’s a long chapter, but i hope it’s worth it! <3

Tick, tick. Tick, tock. The clock was slowly moving its arrows through the numbers as the seconds went by. One second, then another, and another. How could TJ focus on his English class if the clock was basically the loudest thing in existence? He tapped his pencil against his desk as he tried to concentrate on what his teacher was saying. He’s always hated that teacher and he was honestly dreading any second passing by, because he knew that he would soon get an assignment and that he’d hate it. His mind kept wandering elsewhere, there was just so much going on in his head right now. He shifted his gaze around the classroom, analyzing every poster on the walls, every student desperately trying to listen, every shuffling of papers. It seemed like the only times he needed to not get distracted, every little thing caught his attention. He looked back at the clock; exactly one minute had passed. It took him a lot not to groan out loud. It infuriated him how slowly time seemed to pass. How he just wanted this class to be over so he could leave and have lunch. He could feel his stomach twisting, seemingly begging for food. The taping of his pencil just got louder. With the hand that wasn’t holding the pencil, TJ opened his notebook, attempting to at least look like he was reviewing his notes, in case the teacher looked in his direction. He knew he could just ask his friends later to repeat the teacher’s words, but he still wanted to try and listen on his own. Today was not the right day, it seemed. As he went over his own handwriting, that people had always accused of being unreadable but that he still managed to understand, he spotted a small smiley face that had been drawn at the corner of his book, and he couldn’t help but smile at that. Cyrus has drawn that smiley that time they had studied together in TJ’s room. He clearly remembered that day; he had complained about English class, and how the recent assignments were basically killing his grades, and Cyrus had given him encouraging words while he drew that smiley. _‘That smiley is for hope. Whenever you feel down in English class, may it remind you that I believe in you’ _he had told him. The words repeated in his head over and over. _‘I believe in you’ _Almost no one had ever said that to him. He’s always said that it didn’t bother him, and it didn’t, but getting told every once in a while felt nice, especially from Cyrus, though he’d never admit that out loud. He cherished both his friendship with him and all their moments together. He always felt at peace and comfortable whenever he was around Cyrus. He held onto what they had, because he didn’t know what he would do if the other boy were to leave him. That was his biggest fear, whenever they hung out; he was afraid that he’d mess up so bad one day that Cyrus wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore, and that he’d lose him for good. Of course, Cyrus wasn’t his only friend, but TJ did consider him as his best friend- even if the other maybe didn’t consider him as his. Cyrus was probably one of the only person ever who had never really been afraid of him. He was so used to having people fear him that when he first met him, he was certain that he would do the same. However, he never did. He never looked at him with disdain, he never treated him like a bad guy; he treated him like a normal human being, even if he was mean to Buffy. Cyrus was cautious and iffy at first, but he had soon become more confident around him, and had tried to be his friend. TJ didn’t know how or why that happened, but he was grateful for it, truly. There really was no one Cyrus wouldn’t give a chance to. It was the other boy’s optimism, and the fact the he still wasn’t giving up on him that had drawn TJ to him. And even though he would never admit out loud, he had gotten pretty attached to the smaller boy as well. He was a dork, yes, but he was kind, and compassionate, and he had the cutest smile. TJ would honestly do anything to see Cyrus’ smile, the way his nose crinkled, the way his eyes sparkled, and just simply knowing he was happy; it made him feel things he couldn’t describe.____

__

__He suddenly started shaking his head vigorously, snapping himself out of his thoughts. He really had to stop doing that, letting his mind wander to places it shouldn’t. It started off with a simple smiley, and now he was thinking about Cyrus’ smile. He hadn’t even realized that he was smiling fondly, and he immediately forced himself to stop when he did. He tried to ignore the growing burning feeling in his chest._ _

__

__“Now, students” the teacher finally spoke, gaining practically everyone’s attention. TJ had never been so relieved to hear the teacher speak, although he was still dreading what was coming next. “I’m gonna stop talking to myself now” she said in a jokingly tone, chuckling a bit, because she definitely knew that no one was paying attention to her at this point. “... and I’m gonna announce the next assignment! I know you guys are dying to know what it is” TJ could practically feel the stressful atmosphere that was suddenly reigning in the classroom. It was as if every student had had the same thought, just praying it won’t be as bad as they thought it would be. The teacher seemed to know that all too well, because she paused, as to give dramatic effect._ _

__

__“Your next assignment will be to write a poem!” She exclaimed and almost immediately, a collective groan could be heard in the class. She seemed to expecting that because she chuckled to herself again. Meanwhile, TJ would be lying if he said that he hadn’t joined in the groaning. If there was one thing he hated, it was poems. They were already boring to read, in his opinion, so writing them would be a pain, he could already feel it. He didn’t want to write something where he had to be careful to make certain words rime, where he had to be meticulous with each sentence he used, and worst of all, he hated writing about his emotions. Already, he disliked talking about them, much less writing about them. He didn’t know what words to use to explain them, and he honestly didn’t think it was necessary for people to know exactly what’s going on in his head, or in his heart. Heck, sometimes, he didn’t know himself. He covered his head with his hands and lowered them towards the desk._ _

__

__“Now, I am aware that these news absolutely thrill you, but I do not ask you to start it right away. However, I did want to at least mention it so you can start thinking about it, and know what’s to come. We’re going to work on that in class a bit, but I still want you to start to think about your subject” she finally said as the bell rang. A lot of students were quick to leave the classroom, while TJ slowly rose his head from the desk. He had the irresistible urge to bang his head against the table, but he resisted, judging it would just be unnecessary pain. He simply started distractingly shoving his books in his bag, groaning to himself. He wanted to forget about the assignment for now, but it seemed be the only thing he could think about. What would he even write about? He honestly had no clue, and it stressed him a lot more than he’d like to admit. What was he even passionate about? Basketball? No, he couldn’t write about that, everyone expected him to. He didn’t want people to think he was a one dimensional guy obsessed with basketball, because he was way more than that. Part of him wanted to surprise his peers, but the other part of him thought it would just be too much work. Sighing to himself, he finally took his bag and walked out of the classroom. As he made his way to his locker, he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering elsewhere. He was completely lost in his thoughts as he opened his locker door. TJ had his head inside when he suddenly felt someone wrap their arm around him. He lifted his head, only to see a familiar face with one of the prettiest smile. It was enough to lift his spirits a bit and a wide smile appeared on his face._ _

__

__“Cy, hey!” He greeted Cyrus, who was still hugging him. The other boy pulled away and stood next to him, looking like he was jumping on the spot. He didn’t know why he was such in a good mood, but it was infectious. For a second, TJ almost forgot about his worries._ _

__

__“Hey! How was your morning?” He had that twinkle in his eyes that TJ loved so much. He didn’t know if it was a common thing, or this only happened to Cyrus, but he treasured it dearly. It just made his eyes even more beautiful._ _

__

__“It was alright.” He shrugged a bit, shuffling through his locker to trade some of his books. “Not too thrilled about the English assignment, though” he admitted with a slight grimace. Cyrus suddenly lit up at that._ _

__

__“Oh, you’ve heard about that, huh? Everyone is complaining about it, but personally I’m excited” he really was too cute, talking like that. He would be able to make anyone happy about an important assignment with that smile. He also made it really hard for TJ not to be distracted. He turned to face him, rolling his eyes playfully._ _

__

__“Well, not everyone have been blessed with good writing skills like you” he simply replied with a slight smile. He swore that the laughter that came out of Cyrus’ mouth could have killed him instantly, if it was possible. It didn’t matter how many times he’s heard it, each time, he felt like he would melt. Cyrus nudged him, and even if it didn’t hurt him, TJ couldn’t help but rub his arm._ _

__

__“Oh, hush, you. My writing isn’t that good” the smaller boy scoffed as TJ closed his locker door. The two boys started to walk towards the cafeteria._ _

__

__“Are you kidding? Your writing is amazing, Cy, dont say that” TJ gave him a small smile and he couldn’t tell if it was his imagination, or if Cyrus’ cheeks had suddenly taken a slightly darker tone._ _

__

__“Aww, that’s sweet. Well, either way, I have plenty of ideas for the poem. I’ve even made a list” he glanced over at TJ. “Do you have any?” Just that question felt like a slap to the face, mainly because it reminded him why it stressed him so much. It kind of brought him back to the reality of his situation._ _

__

__“Not... exactly? I uh- have thought about it a bit but nothing really inspires me” it was probably obvious how discouraged he was because Cyrus nudged him again, a reassuring smile on his face._ _

__

__“Hey, you’ll find it, don’t worry. You’ll find your muse eventually, I’m sure of it. And if not, I can still help you.” TJ met his gaze, and he could feel his heartbeat accelerating for a reason he couldn’t explain. He gulped a bit and nodded before smiling._ _

__

__“Thanks. You’re the best” they arrived in the cafeteria, and TJ went to go put himself in line to go get his food. To his surprise, Cyrus was following him still._ _

__

__“Don’t you have a lunchbox?”_ _

__

__“Yeah, I do, but I still want to wait in line with you. I mean, if you don’t mind, of course” for the second time, TJ felt like his heartbeat was accelerating in his chest. He shoved his hands in his pockets, shrugging with a slight smile._ _

__

__“No, of course I don’t mind” this made him happier than he could explain. Everything was always better with Cyrus around, and the wait would definitely seem shorter if he stayed. Suddenly, the other boy’s face lit up again, as if he had just remembered something._ _

__

__“Hey, did you get your math test back? I heard a lot of people got theirs, and I’m curious” the look in his eyes showed such excitement, it took TJ everything not to smile. He attempted to show an upset expression._ _

__

__“I did, actually... I only got...” he paused for a bit, and a frown appeared on Cyrus’ face. “... a C+“ he finished with a wide grin. If he could forever capture the way Cyrus’ facial expression changed at that moment, it would. It made his stomach feel all weird inside, but he tried to ignore that._ _

__

__“A C+?! Oh my gosh, TJ!” Cyrus immediately squealed. A few people turned their head at the scream, but he didn’t seem to notice as he wrapped TJ in for a hug. It wasn’t a bro hug this time; it was an actual hug. He squeezed him tightly, and it took TJ by surprise at first, though he quickly got over that and hugged him back. He felt like he could melt in the spot. Some would be quick to call TJ tough, but here he was, completely melting after a hug. Cyrus pulled away a bit to look at him and smile._ _

__

__“I’m so proud of you” he added softly, and TJ could’ve sworn that his heart had skipped a beat or two. Their faces were quite close, more than usual, and he caught himself staring for almost a split second, before clearing his throat and blushing._ _

__

__“T-thank you. That means a lot” it meant a lot more than he’d allow himself to say out loud, that was for sure. To him, it meant the entire world coming from Cyrus, as if his words had this magical effect on him. “Though it was mostly because of you helping me”_ _

__

__“No, it’s not! Sure, I may have helped, but _you _did the exam. You’re smart, you know. You should be proud” classic Cyrus, always finding the words to make him speechless for a few seconds. It flattered him so much to hear him talk so positively about him. TJ knew that his cheeks were darker now. For a second, it was like he had trouble finding his words and speak. He cleared his throat.__ _ _

__

___“You’re too kind, thank you” Cyrus grinned and nodded as he went back to standing next to him. “So that means you’re going to be there at Friday’s game?”_ _ _

__

___“Yup! I’m probably gonna start on the game” he managed to utter with a slight smile. He didn’t know why he was nervous all of a sudden._ _ _

__

___“Great! I’m gonna be cheering you on from the bleachers. Louder than everyone else too. I’m definitely gonna stand out” he grinned widely. TJ just smiled a bit. _‘You could be the most silent person in the crowd, and you’d still stand out to me’ _he caught himself thinking, but he quickly brushed that thought off. It was finally his turn to take his food, and he advanced, putting plates on his tray as Cyrus started rambling. He could honestly hear him talk for hours on end without getting tired of it, there was a way in which he spoke that was almost hypnotic. Cyrus often told him how he avoided to ramble because people tended to get annoyed or cut him off, but TJ had always assured him that he could do it at any time with him. It somehow relaxed him to hear him talk like that. Besides, Cyrus was always fascinating to listen to. TJ would do anything to see him as excited like that. He glanced over at him, and he had that sparkle in his eyes again. He was gesturing a lot, but it just made it look more charming. He stood in front of the cash register as he paid for his food. As they started to walk away, Cyrus suddenly stopped talking.__ _ _ _

__

____“Oh, sorry, I was rambling, wasn’t I?” He inquired, his shoulder lowering. TJ glanced over at him again, and nodded, though with a smile._ _ _ _

__

____“Yeah, you were. But it’s okay, I like listening to you talk” that sentence seemed to take Cyrus by surprise, because his eyes widened._ _ _ _

__

____“Really?”_ _ _ _

__

____“Yeah, really” he met Cyrus’ gaze and smiled wider. The small boy only returned his smile, playing with the straps of his lunchbox as he continued to walk._ _ _ _

__

____“Aw, thank you. You’re probably the only one so... it means a lot” the look in Cyrus’ eyes softened, and TJ could feel that warm feeling in his stomach only growing even more. He almost felt sick, but somehow, it wasn’t unpleasant. He couldn’t even explain what he was feeling or why, and it was starting to bother him- and maybe worry him as well. He was the first one to gaze away as they arrived at their usual table. The rest of the gang was already there, with Buffy and Andi sitting on one side while Amber and Jonah sat on the other. Cyrus went to sit next to Buffy and TJ went to sit across him, next to Amber. Everyone started eagerly with each other, but TJ couldn’t bring himself to listen to any of the conversations. He just played with the food in his plate with his fork, completely out of it. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get rid of the knots in his stomach, or slow down his heartbeat. It was unbearable, and he wished he could just suppress his feelings, for once. He only gazed up when he heard Cyrus laugh. It truly was one of his favourite things in the world, and he caught himself smiling a bit. He was brought back to reality when he felt someone smack him on the arm. He whipped his head and rubbed his arm._ _ _ _

__

____“Hey, what the hell?” He glared at Amber, because even if he didn’t see her, there was no doubt that she was the one who had hit him. His twin sister simply chuckled._ _ _ _

__

____“You zoned out! I was just bringing you back to Earth, dork” she hit his arm again, and he rolled his eyes. He then noticed that everyone was looking at him._ _ _ _

__

____“You okay, TJ? You barely touched your food” Jonah pointed out. TJ glanced down at his plate; it was practically full. He gave a small smile and nodded._ _ _ _

__

____“Hmm, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, is all” he brushed it off, and no one asked more questions. He knew that Amber wasn’t buying it, but she didn’t anything, for the moment. Meanwhile, Cyrus had a skeptic look on his face but he stayed quiet. TJ felt himself flush as he just sank in his chair. Time seemed to pass by slowly until the bell rang, announcing the end of lunch. Soon, he was back at his locker, trying to get his bag out. He still felt all weird and fuzzy inside, and he swore, it seemed to get worse by the second. He barely noticed that Cyrus had walked up to him was standing next to his locker._ _ _ _

__

____“Hey” TJ almost jumped up when he heard his voice. He glanced up, and seeing him again, especially in that lightning, made his heart race. He looked down and tried to get his bag, who was now stuck, out._ _ _ _

__

____“Hey” he wanted to come up with a more elaborate answer but he couldn’t. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. There was a silence, for a few seconds, in which TJ avoided to look up at Cyrus. Finally, the other boy spoke again._ _ _ _

__

____“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He expected that kind of answer, especially from Cyrus. He knew, the seconds he had seen his face at the table, earlier, that he hadn’t bought his excuse. He also knew, when he gazed over at him again, that he still hadn’t, and that he was maybe a bit concerned. TJ finally managed to pull his bag out of his locker and he stood up before putting in on his back._ _ _ _

__

____“I know” he smiled softly. “And I’m grateful for that, really. It’s nothing to worry about, okay? I’m just tired and have a lot on my mind, no biggie” well, it wasn’t a lie, really. He just hadn’t specified what he was thinking about. Cyrus didn’t look reassured._ _ _ _

__

____“But you didn’t eat”_ _ _ _

__

____“I wasn’t really hungry. Don’t worry, Amber will probably force me to eat later anyways” he chuckled at that, and Cyrus finally managed to smile. He nodded._ _ _ _

__

____“Okay. I believe you then” he seemed a bit relieved. “I was a bit worried”_ _ _ _

__

____“I know you were” of course he was, it was Cyrus. He was always worried about others’ wellbeing. It was one of the things he liked best about him. “But I’m fine, I promise” or at least he hoped he was. TJ gave the other boy a smile, mirroring his expression. He took his math textbook and was about to close his locker when Cyrus stopped him._ _ _ _

__

____“Oh, you added more pictures on your locker door!” He was practically squealing and TJ couldn’t help but smile. He had taken the habit of sticking a few pictures in his locker, just for fun. When he was having a bad day, he could just look at them and instantly feel better. He had a picture of himself with each of his friends, one picture of his sister alone, and an additional picture of him and Cyrus. The latter was probably what had caught Cyrus’ attention, because it wasn’t there before. TJ had found it accidentally in his things the other day, and it had made him so happy, he had hung it here._ _ _ _

__

____“Yeah, I did. Thought you’d probably recognize them.” The smile on his face grew fond as he observed Cyrus’ reaction. A grin appeared on the other boy’s face._ _ _ _

__

____“Oh my gosh, it’s a picture of that time we went to the arcade and I beat you at that basketball game!” He remembered that day all too well; it was like engraved in his memory. He and Cyrus often went out to hang out, sometimes with the others, sometimes just the two of them. They had gone to the arcade, and TJ had challenged Cyrus to play a basketball mini game. ‘That’s unfair! You’re definitely gonna win’ Cyrus had whined. Turned out, he hadn’t, which had taken the other boy by surprise. TJ hadn’t even let him win; he had just been distracted. He remembered how he couldn’t keep his focus on the ball, and how he kept stealing glances at Cyrus. Plus, he’d always miss his shots whenever Cyrus would laugh when he would miss his own shots, or whenever he would encourage him. It was a bit frustrating, to say the least, not because he was embarrassed that Cyrus had beat him, but because he knew he could’ve done better than that. However, Cyrus’ proud grin that and his excitement each time he mentioned it made it all worth it._ _ _ _

__

____“Yeah, yeah it is. You beat me fair and square. It was fun” he chuckled slightly. “And it got me to prove that you’re not as bad as you think as basketball”_ _ _ _

__

____“Oh hush” Cyrus shook his head. “I wasn’t that good”_ _ _ _

__

____“Well, you did beat the captain of the basketball team, so I’d say you’re pretty good” TJ grinned at that, and Cyrus laughed a bit._ _ _ _

__

____“Alright, alright, maybe you’re right. We should have a rematch one day- you know, you can get your chance to beat me” he crossed his arms amusingly, smiling brightly. TJ just stared at him distractingly, nodding._ _ _ _

__

____“Yeah, yeah, we definitely should” there is was again, that weird feeling he couldn’t explain. That feeling that made him feel safe, but frightened him at the same time. That feeling that he only seemed to have around Cyrus. That feeling that he had tried so hard to get rid, but in vain. He felt like he would get lost in Cyrus’ eyes, but he didn’t allow himself to, and he gazed away. He wished he could just forget he was feeling anything. He cleared his throat, willing to change the subject before he did or said anything he would regret. Cyrus beat him to it, though._ _ _ _

__

____“Hey, do you want to come with me to my History class? My teacher wants to talk to me and I don’t want to go alone” he admitted sheepishly, laughing awkwardly. TJ looked up at him, but he avoided his gaze._ _ _ _

__

____“Sure” he couldn’t formulate a better answer than that, even if he wanted to. They started walking, and all TJ could do was grip at his math book tightly. So many thoughts went through his head, and his heart was going crazy, especially right now, so close to Cyrus, who’s shoulder kept brushing against his. He didn’t quite know what was happening with him, but he did know that, one way or another, he was definitely screwed._ _ _ _

__


End file.
